This post may not make sense to anyone else. It is just a brain-dump. I will go ahead and offer that Clue #1 that you are having a mid-life crisis is that you cannot get your brain to behave and think rationally.
So, I’m pretty sure I’m having a mid-life crisis. Here are the facts:
- I’m 42 years old. I’ve been (in love) with my husband for nearly 10 years. I have two little boys (7 and 6) and am step-mom to two teenagers (who lived with us full-time for a several years and now live full-time with their mom.)
- I had my first anxiety attack ever in February (if you’ve never had one, it mimics a heart attack – you basically feel like you are going to die – freaks you out, freaks your husband out more… and feels really embarrassing afterwards because you always thought anxiety attacks were meant for drama queens and you have never been much for drama… sigh…)
- For the past few
yearsmonths we’ve been really focused on getting out of debt so we can save money and take off on a round-the-world journey… but I seriously cannot keep still anymore. Five years feels like forever. I feel like we have to move right now or I might go crazy. It is not rational. I realize this. But there are days where I feel like we have to go. Right. Now.
- I’ve been working remotely (from home) full-time since Oct 2011, managing fundraising events for a non-profit, but for the last six months I’ve been unhappy with my perfectly awesome job where I get to work from home every day. (Mostly because I have a micro-manager boss who works thousands of miles away – so really, it should not affect me as much as it does.) I decided to start my own consulting business so that I could quit my job. Then I decided it was a dumb idea. Then I decided I needed to do it anyway – then I could finally work for myself! Then I tried to start “consulting” my first “client” and decided that I don’t have the patience for it. Then I decided to ask for advice from friends – who told me the same thing – you probably don’t have the patience for it… Then I decided to just look for another job. Then I freaked out as to why I would want to give up the freedom I have working from home. Then I decided that we needed to move. This is not a sane person, right?
So how do you know if you are having a mid-life crisis? And how do you get over it?