This post may not make sense to anyone else. It is just a brain-dump. I will go ahead and offer that Clue #1 that you are having a mid-life crisis is that you cannot get your brain to behave and think rationally.
So, I’m pretty sure I’m having a mid-life crisis. Here are the facts:
- I’m 42 years old. I’ve been (in love) with my husband for nearly 10 years. I have two little boys (7 and 6) and am step-mom to two teenagers (who lived with us full-time for a several years and now live full-time with their mom.)
- I had my first anxiety attack ever in February (if you’ve never had one, it mimics a heart attack – you basically feel like you are going to die – freaks you out, freaks your husband out more… and feels really embarrassing afterwards because you always thought anxiety attacks were meant for drama queens and you have never been much for drama… sigh…)
- For the past few
yearsmonths we’ve been really focused on getting out of debt so we can save money and take off on a round-the-world journey… but I seriously cannot keep still anymore. Five years feels like forever. I feel like we have to move right now or I might go crazy. It is not rational. I realize this. But there are days where I feel like we have to go. Right. Now. - I’ve been working remotely (from home) full-time since Oct 2011, managing fundraising events for a non-profit, but for the last six months I’ve been unhappy with my perfectly awesome job where I get to work from home every day. (Mostly because I have a micro-manager boss who works thousands of miles away – so really, it should not affect me as much as it does.) I decided to start my own consulting business so that I could quit my job. Then I decided it was a dumb idea. Then I decided I needed to do it anyway – then I could finally work for myself! Then I tried to start “consulting” my first “client” and decided that I don’t have the patience for it. Then I decided to ask for advice from friends – who told me the same thing – you probably don’t have the patience for it… Then I decided to just look for another job. Then I freaked out as to why I would want to give up the freedom I have working from home. Then I decided that we needed to move. This is not a sane person, right?
So how do you know if you are having a mid-life crisis? And how do you get over it?
Hi, Michelle! Thanks for your honest self-assessment. Mid-life (or anytime in life) crisis–anxiety–yea, well, these things happen.
I sincerely believe that we all should be setting out our life goals–set the priorities, try to find a path towards those goals and then do what we can to achieve them–now. Having worthwhile goals means that sometimes there’s a crisis or anxiety associated with achieving those goals. Having unspoken goals or yearnings can lead to unexplained anxieties as well. Of course you’re going to be a bit anxious (or even a LOT anxious) if you’re not seeing what you want to see happening in your life. In my book, it is better to be anxious and in crisis than to be numb to what is happening around you until you wake up one day without having lived the life you once dreamed of and without the resources (financial, health, or determination) to live ever your dreams.
Some people are the “entrepreneurs” of life–they innovate and they change things, they aren’t content to sit about and let life just “happen” because whatever everyone else says is fine, good enough, or even wonderful…those entrepreneurs just aren’t happy with because they always want something BETTER. Always. One of the biggest shared traits of entrepreneurs is being…ah..how can I say this? I’ll blurt it out: they’re often quite unhappy because by the time they’ve achieved one goal or change they’ve set their sights ever higher on another one. Never time to just enjoy the moment. Even when everything is fine. Yup, the rest of the world is celebrating how great life is and the entrepreneur wants things to change in some way. And they make changes–again, again, again, and again in search of the happiest of happiness. Read about entrepreneurs and innovators and you’ll run across this little “unhappy” fact.
So, embrace that inner entrepreneur who want something better, who is impatient with how fast things are coming along. Take a deep breath, figure out what is REALLY important to you and then do what you need to do to make it happen NOW. Keep lists of what you need for your happiness. Understand why things are on the lists and how you’re making progress towards achieving the things on the lists.
Best of luck to you in achieving a wonderful sailing life.
Thanks so much for your thoughtful comments! Step-by-step we are making headway to achieving our goals…